Tuesday, July 8, 2008

It begins again....

I started the paperwork today for my daughter...for Annika's Sister. I am not sure what inspired me, but despite having many things to do, I mailed my application for my homestudy, my updated autobiography and a check to my home study agency. When I started filling out the check, I realized it is July 8, my dad's birthday, and believe perhaps he was nudging me (as he always did) to get moving!

I am amazed at the difference in the feelings as one begins the process for a second child. My primary emotion is fear! I want to do this, but the reality of being a mom, that was not present during the first magical process is oh so prevalent. My fear is not of being able to manage 2 or love 2, but the finances and the true reality of 2 and managing that! When I adopted Annika, I had a safety net...my dad and a supportive family. My dad is no longer here and my family is far away. Sometimes I feel like Triple A is my only safety net (and they don't help with child care)!

So I will proceed slowly and cautiously and enjoy the process and see where it takes our family!

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