INAUGURATON DAY

This is such a happy day with a new outlook. Its hard for me to put into words without negativity and I don't want to be negative. I want a happy secure future for my children. When I left this country to adopt Annika, I was treated very well, but was often asked, "What do you think of your American President?" I didn't hide my opinion nor did my questioners. I brought Annika home in 2004 and I cried on election night. I clearly remember sitting in the recliner, holding her, tears streaming down my face, as apologized to her for what was to come. I am relieved to feel hopeful and excited for oour country's future and that of my children. I am excited that if I return to Kazkahstan when I asked what I think of our president, I can accept him as MY president and I can say that I respect and admire him.

Lillie and Edmund?

I struggle with choosing the name Lillie simply because I love it. I believe it should have more meaning and more connection ot my family. Annika was named to honor my grandmother Anna and my mom Rosemary, two strong, wonderful, amazing woman. They had complete and profound impact on my life and who I am and we miss them everyday. As I searched for a name for my next baby, I wanted to honor my dad, Edmund. But Edmund is difficult to correlate with a girl's name. I have tried. Emilia and Emika are good, but do not have the perfect ring to my ear. I feel a bit of guilt because I want to name her to honor my dad. I researched the name Lillie and some other family names and as it turns out, the name Susan means Lily. HUH? Stick with me here....my dad's mom was named Susan....its a bit of a stretch, but the name Lillie just came to me out of nowhere last week, much as the beginning of this adoption process did on my dad's birthday, so perhaps....if we think of greater powers guiding me ... the name Lillie can be thought of as a way of honoring my dad. I realize its a stretch, but it works for me. So she shall be Lillie Ana, variations of my two grandmother's names, to honor my dad, who loved his mom, and my mom mom, who I loved.

Mission Completion-Dossier Phase

On Wednesday I picked up the last page of my dossier and yesterday i mailed it for apostille, so this phase of the process is complete. Ths week, I finished and forwarded my dossier pictures on to Libby at my agency. Two packages have been fedexed to the PA Department of State for Apostilles. For my part, this phase of the paperchase is over and the apostilles should be finished next week and mailed to MAPS and thus officially completing my dossier.

NAMES

Lily Ana: Lily means Purity, beauty, innocence/Ana means Grace

Lily is just pretty, goes nicely with Annika, and I have and Aunt and a cousin respectively named Lillian and Lila, and Ana in honor of my Mom Mom Anna

Rose Eden: Beauty and love/pleasure delight In honor of mom Rosemary and my dad Edmund

Emilia Rose: Industrious/ beauty In honor of my dad and mom, using just the "E" for my dad

Alex Rose: Noble/ Beauty In honor of my Pop Pop Al and my mom

Emika Rose: Loved Friend/ Beauty Again in honor of my dad and mom

They are not in any order. I like all of them. Today I like Lily Ana best, but I would like to honor my dad in the name. I also like Liliana Rose, but Lily on its own is so pure and simple and lovely. Annika and Lily sound precious together. I have thought long and hard about Emilia and was set on that, but it always felt one syllable too heavy. So for today, it is Lily Ana, plus her Kazak name.

With Annika, I knew I wanted a variation of Anna and Rosemary, and researched my options and once I came upon Annika Rose, it was set. Once I met her, it fit. I would love a pretty "E" name to honor my dad, and to pair it with Rose, but despite hours on name websites and with my nose in baby name books, I cannot find an "E" name that I love as much as I love Annika's name. I do love Lily that much. Today. Let's see if it sticks.

ALREADY LOVED

It appears as though nothing has happened since August. It actually felt that way too. It has been a series of starts and stops due to various changes in the rules and regulations governing Kazak adoptions. The agencies, the Consulate, the Departments within the country itself, as well as adopting parents had to implement many changes, resulting in many delays and adjustments. My homestudy was approved in September, and while many of the delays were in effect, I was fortunate to also be waiting for my INS approval, which I received in November. My agency implementd the required changes, and finally gave me approval to proceed with my dossier in mid December. As it turned out, I had only a few things to complete and they will be in the mail to be apostilled this week.

As it stands now, my dossier will be finished in about 2 weeks, then go to translation, then be submitted to the Consulate in March/April. The wait then is 9-12 months. In an ideal world, I wold travel in either the fall or late spring. January to March is virtually impossible with my job, but perhaps the two trip option or an escort will have to be considered too.

The little extra time due to the delay has actually been good for me and allowed me to calm myself and adjust to the idea of two children. The delays also make me realize just how much I want this child and how much he or she is already loved.