Waiting to Wait

I've finally put my finger on why I am struggling so much with this portion of my wait. I am not actually complaining about waiting. Its because I am not actually waiting yet. I am waiting to wait. As I see it, once my dossier is finished and it goes to the Consulate in New York, then I actually begin waiting for my child. Gathering my own documents and building a dossier is is action oriented, and can be done fairly quickly and easily, once you get going. The last page I need is one that I have no control over. Someone else needs to be complete it. Once I receive it, my dossier is complete and goes to the Consulate. Knowing the dossier is at the Consulate or somewhere in country means that there is hope for something to happen. It is paving the way to the child. This in between place where we are now, this waiting to wait, is a difficult place to be, because I know nothing can happen.