INAUGURATON DAY

This is such a happy day with a new outlook. Its hard for me to put into words without negativity and I don't want to be negative. I want a happy secure future for my children. When I left this country to adopt Annika, I was treated very well, but was often asked, "What do you think of your American President?" I didn't hide my opinion nor did my questioners. I brought Annika home in 2004 and I cried on election night. I clearly remember sitting in the recliner, holding her, tears streaming down my face, as apologized to her for what was to come. I am relieved to feel hopeful and excited for oour country's future and that of my children. I am excited that if I return to Kazkahstan when I asked what I think of our president, I can accept him as MY president and I can say that I respect and admire him.

Lillie and Edmund?

I struggle with choosing the name Lillie simply because I love it. I believe it should have more meaning and more connection ot my family. Annika was named to honor my grandmother Anna and my mom Rosemary, two strong, wonderful, amazing woman. They had complete and profound impact on my life and who I am and we miss them everyday. As I searched for a name for my next baby, I wanted to honor my dad, Edmund. But Edmund is difficult to correlate with a girl's name. I have tried. Emilia and Emika are good, but do not have the perfect ring to my ear. I feel a bit of guilt because I want to name her to honor my dad. I researched the name Lillie and some other family names and as it turns out, the name Susan means Lily. HUH? Stick with me here....my dad's mom was named Susan....its a bit of a stretch, but the name Lillie just came to me out of nowhere last week, much as the beginning of this adoption process did on my dad's birthday, so perhaps....if we think of greater powers guiding me ... the name Lillie can be thought of as a way of honoring my dad. I realize its a stretch, but it works for me. So she shall be Lillie Ana, variations of my two grandmother's names, to honor my dad, who loved his mom, and my mom mom, who I loved.

Mission Completion-Dossier Phase

On Wednesday I picked up the last page of my dossier and yesterday i mailed it for apostille, so this phase of the process is complete. Ths week, I finished and forwarded my dossier pictures on to Libby at my agency. Two packages have been fedexed to the PA Department of State for Apostilles. For my part, this phase of the paperchase is over and the apostilles should be finished next week and mailed to MAPS and thus officially completing my dossier.

NAMES

Lily Ana: Lily means Purity, beauty, innocence/Ana means Grace

Lily is just pretty, goes nicely with Annika, and I have and Aunt and a cousin respectively named Lillian and Lila, and Ana in honor of my Mom Mom Anna

Rose Eden: Beauty and love/pleasure delight In honor of mom Rosemary and my dad Edmund

Emilia Rose: Industrious/ beauty In honor of my dad and mom, using just the "E" for my dad

Alex Rose: Noble/ Beauty In honor of my Pop Pop Al and my mom

Emika Rose: Loved Friend/ Beauty Again in honor of my dad and mom

They are not in any order. I like all of them. Today I like Lily Ana best, but I would like to honor my dad in the name. I also like Liliana Rose, but Lily on its own is so pure and simple and lovely. Annika and Lily sound precious together. I have thought long and hard about Emilia and was set on that, but it always felt one syllable too heavy. So for today, it is Lily Ana, plus her Kazak name.

With Annika, I knew I wanted a variation of Anna and Rosemary, and researched my options and once I came upon Annika Rose, it was set. Once I met her, it fit. I would love a pretty "E" name to honor my dad, and to pair it with Rose, but despite hours on name websites and with my nose in baby name books, I cannot find an "E" name that I love as much as I love Annika's name. I do love Lily that much. Today. Let's see if it sticks.

ALREADY LOVED

It appears as though nothing has happened since August. It actually felt that way too. It has been a series of starts and stops due to various changes in the rules and regulations governing Kazak adoptions. The agencies, the Consulate, the Departments within the country itself, as well as adopting parents had to implement many changes, resulting in many delays and adjustments. My homestudy was approved in September, and while many of the delays were in effect, I was fortunate to also be waiting for my INS approval, which I received in November. My agency implementd the required changes, and finally gave me approval to proceed with my dossier in mid December. As it turned out, I had only a few things to complete and they will be in the mail to be apostilled this week.

As it stands now, my dossier will be finished in about 2 weeks, then go to translation, then be submitted to the Consulate in March/April. The wait then is 9-12 months. In an ideal world, I wold travel in either the fall or late spring. January to March is virtually impossible with my job, but perhaps the two trip option or an escort will have to be considered too.

The little extra time due to the delay has actually been good for me and allowed me to calm myself and adjust to the idea of two children. The delays also make me realize just how much I want this child and how much he or she is already loved.

Christmas 2008 ~ Waiting for Baby ~ Keeping the Secret

December 2008

Happy Holidays! 2008 is almost a memory and for our family, it was a year spent closer to home after our travels of 2007. WE needed to relax and rest our feet. Or so I thought! We were as busy as ever! The early part of our year is always busy as we focus on the PADONA convention and busy-ness and excitement that that entails. It has truly become a family business and everyone has jobs and works hard. By the time we arrive in Hershey, the work is finished, but for me, the stress begins, hoping all goes well. Annika simply becomes the hotel's princess. Imagine being a 5 year old in a hotel full of Hershey's chocolate! I am busy from 6 am to 10 pm. Meanwhile, everyone is doting on her, giving her treats and taking her swimming. She does work too. She helps unpack boxes and she can make deliveries and is great at meeting and greeting members, with a firm hand shake and a great memory for names. We love convention. Its hard work, but its a wonderful week and over much too quickly.

After this year's convention, our big project was to throw an after prom party for Kate, my godaughter and one of Annika's godmothers. It was great fun to plan. The theme of the prom was Breakfast at Tiffany's, so our theme was Tiffany inspired, with everything colored tiffany blue, a cake that looked like a Tiffany box, gift bags for the attendees, and a refrigerator full of food. They arrived at midnight, woke up Annika, who happily joined them in her own pink ruffled tutu. We thought she would greet everyone and fall asleep. but she joined the fun and and at one point was seen on out on her swingset at 2 am! They were wonderful kids and we had a great time and even got some sleep !

Over the summer, we spent weekends at the beach with friends and instead of going away, we had guests from afar. Throughout the summer, we had visitors from Kazakhstan. Elena, who was my translator when I adopted Annika, and while I was there became so dear a friend that I asked her to be one of Annika's godmothers, spent a week at the beginning and end of the summer with us. Her 10 year old son Jenya came along, too. We talked, relaxed, drank tea, traveled locally and just had wonderful girl time, while the children played. Despite the fact the Jenya speaks Russian and Annika speaks English, they managed to have a great time and were inseperable throughout the visit. They made up silly games, played outside and suddenly, I had a house filled with noise and laughter. Annika was sure she was learning to speak Russian, and began to put a series of unrecognizable sounds together and spoke to us in only this language. She was quite surprised when we did not understand her Russian! Even now, she continues to speak "Russian" occasionally and when I ask her to translate, she politely advises me to learn Russian too! After Elena and Jenya left, we had the two Anyas, Elena's daughter and her best friend, spend time with us, which was great fun and involved a bit of sightseeing and a lot of shopping. They are two teenage girls from Kazakhstan who spent the summer in various parts of the US and ended their trip at our house. They arrrived with one suitcase each and went home with five! We spent a lot of time at the mall and Annika loved playing with the "big girls" who doted on her, polished her nails, and let her play hairdresser with their long hair.

Like many families, we spent much of our year focused on who was to be our next president. Even Annika had a strong opinion and made her choice very early...long before any grown ups in our house made any decisions. In February, during a primary debate, she walked over to the TV and pointed to one man and said "I like him ...and he'll need her to help him," pointing to Obama and Hiilary. "What"s his name?" she asked. I told her his name and she said "Onka Cobonka? I never heard a name like that. I like him." She remained committed to her candidate and by August, she would wake up each morning and ask, "Is today the day that we find out if Onka Cobonka wins?" By election day she fortunately learned to pronounce his name and cheered happily when I woke her at 11 pm to see the announcement of the winner.

We are well and happy. Work keeps us busy, but I enjoy it very much and for that I am fortunate, but the time at home is most cherished. Annika is wonderful. She is smart and happy, fun and funny. She sings and dances her way through each day. She is 5 and since she isa summer birth day, she does not start kindergarten until next year, which has given her the opportunity to blossom this year. She loves school and continues at Montessori Children's House. She just started reading and is so proud of herself. She loves math, music, and gym. She also takes ballet. Annika has asked Santa for a scooter and leapfrog computer game. Her favorite toys are coloring books, crayons, her dollies, her doggies, and her bike. She will work at her little desk for hours and since her desk is across from mine, quite often, we work together. She has two pet hermit crabs named Jenya and Little Shawn, who are dearly loved. She is full of energy, full of questions, and full of love.

Although I am so blessed, I still struggle. My life will always lack the sparkle my mom brought to it and laughter and energy my dad brought and thats most apparent at holiday time. Having Annika is wonderful and seeing the world through her eyes is joyful and she makes everything fun. I hope you are well this holiday season and that you spend time doing things that make you happy~that the people you care about are close to you and that you have good fortune and health in the year to come.

Warmly,

Kristen

Moving Along

I have had my first home study visit (last Monday July 28, 2008) and it went nicely. It was basically a review of the application process prior to completing the actual the home study as well as a discussion of my readiness for adopting internationally and raising a child of a race different than my own. Annika stayed with Helen and when I went to pick her up, Helen had a delicious dinner ready for us!